Sexual assault survivors speak out

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Samantha S. Crane
  • 366th Fighter Wing Public Affairs Office
MOUNTAIN HOME AIR FORCE BASE, Idaho --  On April 16, three sexual assault survivors came together at the Gunfighter's Club to speak out about their experiences and how to overcome sexual crimes as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

"Sexual assault is a life-altering event," said Dr. Cindi Drake, Mountain Home AFB Sexual Assault Response Coordinator. "We can't stop sexual assault, but we can attempt to prevent it through increased awareness and supporting victims."

Ede, a sexual assault survivor and victim advocate, envisioned the event as a way to let people tell their stories in hopes of raising awareness and helping survivors heal.

The afternoon started with an active duty female anonymously sharing her story through a video presentation. After being assaulted by her Air Force husband's supervisor and another acquaintance, she pursued an investigation and trial. Due to numerous factors, including the forensic evidence kit being processed incorrectly, insufficient evidence was presented and the perpetrator was acquitted of the crime.

"I know there are other women out there who have gone through this," she said. "It just gives them hope that they aren't the only ones, and you can survive. If you don't come forward and take that stand, you're letting that person think it's ok. They could possibly do it to someone else. No matter how it turns out, you still tried your hardest."

But most importantly, she let people know that life doesn't end after an assault.

"There is life afterwards," she said. "You can move forward. You can live again. It's ok to laugh and smile."

Ede is also an active duty Air Force female. She became a victim advocate to help others who have gone through similar experiences. As a sophomore in high school, Ede began dating a junior.

"He told me he loved me, and I believed him," she said. "I told him I didn't want to have sex and I wanted to wait; he said he felt the same."

After her father moved out, Ede turned to her boyfriend for comfort.

"I was crying, and he was taking off my clothes," she said. "When I said I didn't want to, he said 'shh.' I said wait, and he said 'I love you.' And before I knew it, it was over."

After another year in the relationship, her boyfriend joined the Navy, and Ede never saw him again, but she continued to blame herself for what happened. After a close friend died, she was forced to examine her own life and decided to get help.

"It wasn't my fault," she said. "It took me two years to say rape, it took me five years to get help, but it took me a decade to allow myself to breathe, to allow myself to heal, and I don't think this is something I'll ever get over. But now I'm healthier and I'm happier, and it doesn't hurt every day. I'm no longer a victim of sexual assault."

For Debra, another active duty Air Force female, she is also trying to heal, though she will always have questions about what happened.

"I don't really know if I was a sexually assaulted when it happened because I was drugged," Debra began.

During a night in Boise, Idaho, Debra met a bartender who shared mutual acquaintances. He continued supplying her drinks free of charge after she closed out her tab. After the bar closed, she was in no condition to drive, and the friend she planned to stay with was out of town.

The bartender offered her a ride to a different friend's home, but said he had to stop at his home first. After convincing her to come in, he offered her another drink. She refused, and he became angry, so she accepted. The conversation turned uncomfortable, sexual. She asked to leave; instead he forced another drink into her hand, which she unwillingly consumed.

"As soon as I did, I must have blacked out or went unconscious," she said. "I remember drinking this drink, and I sank to the floor and that's all I remember."

When she gained consciousness, her shoes were off and the bartender was taking pictures of her. Three hours had passed when she finally arrived to her friend's home. Sick and tired, she fell asleep. The next day, she noticed her dress was inside out and her underclothes were gone. A trip to the hospital revealed she was very likely a victim of date rape.

"I felt like it was my fault, that I shouldn't have put myself in that position," Debra said. "I just wanted to put it out of my head like it never happened."

Debra urged audience members to always have a plan to avoid potentially dangerous situations.

In the fiscal year 2008 congressional report that examines sexual assault allegations in the military services and sets policies for reducing incidents, 2,923 sexual assaults were reported, a nearly 8 percent increase from fiscal year 2007.

"I believe the rise in awareness about the program and support services will render a high rate of reports," said Doctor Drake.

Approximately 63 percent of the reports represent rape or aggravated assault. The report states that 2,280 cases were filed as unrestricted and 643 were restricted, which allows victims to receive medical care and counseling without triggering an investigation.

According to Doctor Drake, the initial self-blame, shame, embarrassment and shock following an assault could prevent a victim from coming forward along with the perception that others won't believe them. Alcohol can also be a factor as it isn't viewed as a typical weapon, thereby creating both internal and external conflicts within the victim attempting to reconcile the incident.

"She or he may be thinking it isn't sexual assault if they made an error in judgment, but my team tries to make it clear that no mistake gives a perpetrator permission to violate their boundaries and commit this crime," said Doctor Drake. "We need to keep educating society, law enforcements, legal representatives and commanders on what the typical perpetrator characteristics are in order to fully support victims of this crime."

DoD's 24/7 sexual assault response line can be reached by calling 1-800-342-9647.