Domestic violence effects on children

  • Published
  • By Connie Powers
  • 366th Medical Operations Squadron Family Advocacy
MOUNTAIN HOME AIR FORCE BASE, Idaho --  As the nation focuses on Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October, we are reminded of the impact it can have on millions of adults, but quite often, we don't consider the hidden victims: the children.

Approximately 15.5 million American children live in homes where partner violence occurred at least once in the previous year while seven million children live in families where severe partner violence has occurred. In Idaho, more than 16,000 children are exposed to and suffer the consequences of witnessing domestic violence each year.

Many parents think their children are unaware of the violence because they aren't present for an incident. However, children are vigilant and aware. They can and do experience parents being slapped, punched, thrown around, kicked or strangled; they also hear the yelling, screaming and smashing of things. Children often hide from the commotion and will venture out when things have calmed down, only to find the aftermath of the incident: property damage, an upset parent, neighbors, friends or the police department. Researchers have found that 80 to 90 percent of children in homes where domestic violence occurs can provide detailed accounts of the violence in their homes.

A child's perception and reaction varies with age, the severity and nature of the violence and a variety of social factors; children will experience and react to the trauma differently. The younger the child is and the longer the exposure to abuse, the more critical it is to ensure immediate emotional and physical safety, interrupt the trauma and support their healing. Infants may experience developmental delays, excessive separation anxiety, sleep disturbances and failure to thrive. School age children may experience depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, aggression, fear, guilt, withdrawal and self-destructive behaviors. Teens may experience poor academic performance or they may feel obliged to excel, poor social skills and difficulty controlling emotions, little understanding of healthy relationships, greater risk to victimize others or engage in teen dating violence, and delinquent or criminal activity.

The good news is parents can counteract the destructive effects of exposure to abuse through nurturing, support, unconditional love and a supportive network of friends and family. Parents need to be safe themselves in order to teach their children how to be safe. Children and teens can be resilient if they are listened to, supported and allowed to feel safe.

It is vital that a person in an abusive situation know where to get assistance, not only for themselves, but for the sake of their children. On Mountain Home AFB, Family Advocacy is the place for active-duty members and their families to find help. Mental health providers can assist both victims and abusers through individual counseling and group treatment.

For more information, call Family Advocacy at 828-7520. Other resources include the Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate line at 590-1940, the Urgent Care Center at 828-7100 or the Elmore County Domestic Violence Council Hotline at 587-3300. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.